On Change and Acceptance: Fall 2017

Periods of great change have always been hard for me. After a relatively peaceful summer, which included a much-needed trip to Germany with my family, but was otherwise very quiet–a lot of working and reading and daydreaming about a future when I wouldn’t be a coffee shop barista–I’ve found myself plunged into the very future of my summer daydreams, and am extremely overwhelmed by it all.

Intuitively, I feel very good about the future. Good things are coming. Diving further into teaching feels right, and I’m so excited to grow further as a teacher. Yet, the present in wrought with a lot of anxiety and emotion, as times of change usually are for me. I don’t sleep as well during times of change, and I tire easier–a combination of the lack of sleep and the very fact that the physical symptoms of anxiety are exhausting AF. Yet, I’m impatient. Oh so impatient. I want to rush head first into things. I’m reminding myself again and again of how, if I want to keep my mental and physical health at all in check, I have to take change slower. How that’s not a bad thing. I’ve been spending a lot of time on my yoga mat, and I’ve been doing meditation excercises. I’ve been reading, and I’ve been reaching out to people who impact my life positively. I’ve been trying to bottle up less emotion (something I’m REAL good at). I’ve been talking through feelings with friends and writing, too.

I do feel the need to write more, which feels good. It feels natural. It feels healthy. It feels like me. I also feel the need to be more social, which I’m notoriously bad at (it’s so much easier to sit at home and be an anti-social introvert!), but also desperately need. While I felt rather content to be alone for much of the summer (which was beneficial in many ways in terms of building up more self-awareness and internal understanding) I’m discovering that a healthy, balanced Britta needs positive interactions with others as much as she needs time by herself to recharge.

I feel this incredible need to go out in the world. I love my online teaching job. I love the relationships I’ve developed with my regular students, and it blows my mind that I can positively impact a child’s life from across the world with a computer and internet connection. I’ve learned a lot from them, too. Yet, I find it strangely unsatisfying to work from home. It’s convenient. It’s easy. It’s fun. It’s joyful. Yet, I get antsy when I spend too Continue reading “On Change and Acceptance: Fall 2017”

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#WeekendCoffeeShare — The Barista Scoop Edition

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that, as an espresso bar barista, I’ve been scooping up more ice cream than making any sort of coffee drink…by far. From there, I’d probably spend a few short minutes complaining about how unbelievably sore my right arm is from completing that task about seventy-five times within an hour (five scoops per twenty ounce milkshake and I surely made fifteen, if not more).

If we were having coffee, I’d have to explain to you how the espresso bar I work in is actually located inside a gas station. It’s a pretty nice gas station, as gas stations go, and, along with the espresso bar, there’s also a full deli where customers can get hot food. It’s a hot spot for lunch and yesterday, Friday, was hopping. There’s a special the deli offers that includes a twenty ounce milkshake or a smoothie with the meal so, naturally, right after customers get their food to go, they come our way. There were three of us behind the counter at one point all vying for the two blenders (something we desperately need at least two more of) to make either another smoothie or milkshake order. Mostly milkshakes yesterday. I’d tell you that, to make matters worse, my utter dependency on the recipe binder (It was my third day, I definitely DON’T have all the recipes memorized yet) slowed us down a bit. Well, at least I can say I can now make chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and oreo milkshakes without the binder after yesterday…but those are basically the easiest recipes anyhow. I’d probably then say something along the lines of, “Welp, we all have to start somewhere.” After that, I’d finally remember to point out–since I got side tracked with the milkshakes–that there’s also a Continue reading “#WeekendCoffeeShare — The Barista Scoop Edition”