If we were having coffee, I’d say hello and we’d probably exchange some pleasantries. Then, I’d dive right into how exhausting my grandfather’s funeral was on Monday. Let me start off by saying that I’ve come to realize that I prefer to grieve in private. So, naturally, I have come to realize that I despise the public grieving ground that a funeral is. Everyone patting each other on the back and offering condolences. I know people mean well but man, I just want some space. My grandfather had an open casket and at twenty-three, I have never been to an open casket funeral before. I have never in my life seen a dead body and I mean, I’m a grown up. I know a dead body is pretty harmless. It won’t bite. Still, I couldn’t handle it. I tried my best to ignore the part of the room where his casket was on display for viewing because I knew I would lose my shit…but then I decided it would be right to just take one look. So, I found myself about ten feet away from the casket–close enough to see his body from afar–and, as anticipated, lost my shit. Thankfully, my aunt and mom came to the rescue and promptly dragged me away, telling me that I should feel no obligation to look at his body when I wasn’t comfortable with it, that grandpa wouldn’t want it that way.
Needless to say, when my time comes–hopefully many, many moons from now–I intend to be cremated and turned into a tree.
I found the rest of the day to be quite exhausting–I had a headache from crying and was overwhelmed by emotions and so many people, many of whom I hadn’t seen in ages or didn’t know at all. I was happy to be back home at the end of the day Continue reading “#WeekendCoffeeShare–Funerals, Friends, and The Future”