Forward Thinking

You see–I let you

break my heart–to move on–it

was necessary Continue reading “Forward Thinking”

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From a Five Month Expat, With Love

Thailand,

It has come to my attention that I will be leaving your borders for the unforeseeable future quite soon. It’s an ending that’s coming quicker than I anticipated and it’s an ending that will fill me with an equal amount of joy–at the prospect of returning home–and sadness–because, well, Thailand, you’ve become a new home. Feelings aside (because we all know how much I love feelings), it’s an occurrence that will inevitably happen sooner than later. Well, Thailand, before the onset of said occurrence, I have some words to get out there regarding my time here.

— — — —

Oh Thailand, it’s been such a wild ride. One that I will never forget. One that has shaped me in more ways than I ever possibly imagined. Thailand–you are everything: frustrating, beautiful, frustratingly beautiful. You are exciting, an adventure always waiting to happen, a whirlwind of crazy, wonderful, exacerbating, so much life. You are an endless array of oxymorons and you never get old.

and Thailand…oh Thailand…

I love you.

I love you a lot.

Adjusting to you was far from easy. Sometimes, adjusting to you was downright the worst. Chief among the struggles I  encountered during my adjustment period was your food–because although there is so much to love about Thai food, eating it day in and Continue reading “From a Five Month Expat, With Love”

In Which I Forgive, Learn, and Understand

We both learned a lot from our relationship, that’s for sure, and you have no idea how much I’ve grown. I’m at a point in my life where I can forgive you. I do forgive you. Of course, that doesn’t justify anything that happened between us, anything you did to me. That said, I also recognize how twisted and unhealthy our relationship was and how it drove us both to act insensitively and, often times, quite selfishly. I know I was incredibly selfish throughout much of our time together…

A few nights ago, I gathered the courage to write and send a message to my ex-boyfriend. This ex-boyfriend. Well, to be quite clear, the only ex-boyfriend. In my Continue reading “In Which I Forgive, Learn, and Understand”

Oh Hey, I Graduated!

Commencement occurred in a perfect sliver of time on Saturday. Seriously. The sun was bright, the sky was clear. It was cool, but not cold (though I was still very warm underneath my black gown). Within a half hour after the ceremony finished, the clouds started rolling in. It’s been raining pretty much non-stop ever since. We got so lucky with the gorgeous weather and I’m SO thankful I was able to graduate outside on my beautiful college campus on the prairie.

— — —

Being a college graduate is a funny thing. Well, to be more accurate, this period of transition is a funny thing. Leaving campus today was extremely bittersweet. As I was driving away, part of me wanted to turn around and speed back to the place I’ve called home for four years.

The other part of me, however, knew that I couldn’t do that. It’s time to move on. It’s time to experience more of the world, to learn and grow outside of a university setting.

What’s next for me, then, you might be wondering.

Well, first, home. I’m sitting on my childhood bed at home right now typing this post up. I haven’t been home since early January and here I am. Writing on my childhood bed.

I’m spending the summer at home. My goal is to find a temporary job, to
hang out with the high school friends I haven’t seen in a while and the college Continue reading “Oh Hey, I Graduated!”

Puzzle Pieces

Break ups are funny sometimes.

Despite all the pain and hurt they can cause and have caused, they’re really quite funny.

Well, at least in my experience.

A week and a half ago, I found myself up late in the Seattle hostel my friends and I were staying in during spring break. Here, I was ferociously writing about how much I still hated my ex. Even though I thought I had gotten past that stage ages ago. Granted, I was just a little (okay, Continue reading “Puzzle Pieces”

Restless and Ready

I am restless.

I am ready to move out into the world.

If I wasn’t so hell bent on getting a double major, I could be doing just that right now (I only have one more requirement to graduate folks–my English senior seminar–and since I’ve already completed my history degree, I could have Continue reading “Restless and Ready”