Balance

2014 was a year of learning and growth.

It was a year where everything I thought I knew about myself and the world around me were thrown out the window.

If we begin at the beginning, 2014 did not start out well for me.

My first five months of 2014 were clouded in darkness; I have never been more terrified or more uncertain of everything about this life than in those five months. Continue reading “Balance”

Let’s Clear a Few Things Up, Please

As many of you know, my most recent blog post was quite personal; in this blog post, I exposed my own experience with sexual abuse. I discussed the person I was at that time and how I have most definitely changed for the better since then.

The feedback I’ve gotten regarding has been wonderfully supportive. Thank you to those of you who commented on my post or made a point to personally tell me how much you appreciated it.

Despite all the positive feedback, I feel I have to clear some things up. I only Continue reading “Let’s Clear a Few Things Up, Please”

Things to Keep in Mind

So, it’s that time in the semester when I have way too much to do and don’t want to do any of it. One of my friends asked me a couple of weeks ago, “I noticed you’ve been blogging a lot…how do you have time for that?” Meaning–“you are taking 16 grueling credits this semester, you have a practically full time job as a student hall director, you’re involved in way too many extracurriculars for your own good, somehow you manage to work out a few times a week, and you still have time to blog? ARE YOU CRAZY?”

Well, in short, no. At least I don’t think so. However, I am having a touch of senioritis and have become an expert procrastinator.

That being said, it’s getting down to crunch time. I don’t want to do anything. This is a problem. I also haven’t been using my time wisely as it is, which I’m not proud of. So, to motivate myself, I have decided to write a list of things that I need to keep in mind as I push through these next five weeks. Really, this list is useful for anytime of the year, though it resonates with me particularly in this high stress, low motivation time period as the end of the semester looms over me.

Without further ado… Continue reading “Things to Keep in Mind”

I’m in a Complicated Mess Called Love and I’m Okay With That

Earlier this semester, my Understanding Writing class was assigned to write literacy autobiographies. Basically, we could write about whatever we wanted as long as we discussed our own personal experiences as writers. We were challenged to approach this assignment differently than we usually approach academic writing assignments, but other than that, the requirements were pretty limited. We went through our rough drafts in small groups and then, after being given a week to revise those rough drafts (where I took the opportunity to rewrite my entire paper) we posted our final drafts on Google Drive for everyone in the class to read and respond to.

I chose to write my literacy autobiography with a lot more freedom than usual. In fact, the final draft looks a lot more like one of my blog posts than any formal writing assignment I’ve ever written. With that freedom came more of my personality and more of my personal experiences. I got really personal in my literacy autobiography. In their comments on Google Drive, a couple of my classmates commended me for how courageous I was to write so openly about these personal aspects of my life. They called me brave to touch on these subjects at all.

As much as I appreciate the positive responses I got about my literacy autobiography, I don’t see myself as brave for writing what I did. I was just being honest. To write my literacy autobiography without those personal aspects of my story would not have been honest and in my Continue reading “I’m in a Complicated Mess Called Love and I’m Okay With That”

A Letter to My 18 Year Old Self

Late last night, I was looking through my computer and found some old Word documents that hadn’t been looked at in ages. In particular,  I took a look at a makeshift journal I had created during my freshman year of college, since I had left my paper journal at home and was looking for a way to vent about my feelings in the pre-blogging stage of my life. I was astounded to read some of the things I had written in this journal…I sounded so lonely and dejected. Looking back, I am well aware of the fact that I wasn’t at my happiest during this time, however reading the things my 18 and 19 year old self had to say was a bit of punch to the gut…I couldn’t believe this is the life I was living. I’ve grown so much in the past four years, and for that I am incredibly thankful. I hardly recognize the girl I was when I started at Morris and that is most definitely a good thing. However, I think it’s worth looking back to see how far I’ve come. After all, that is in the true spirit of the purpose I had in creating this blog.

After reading a particularly raw entry from January 2012 where I simply stated how lonely I was, I decided to give my 18 year old self a pep talk. The below letter is the result:

Dear 18 year old Britta,

You’re going through a bit of a rough time here. You were so excited to go to college and now you’re there. You’re halfway through your freshman year, which is crazy (but believe me, you’ll think it’s even crazier when senior year rolls around). You finally have a boyfriend (isn’t that what you’ve been dreaming of your whole life?) and you’ve met a lot of fun people at Morris. Despite all that, you’re hurting. You feel that you shouldn’t be, given your circumstances, but you are and you know it. You know you’re an introvert and you know that you have trouble connecting with people because of that, but it just sucks that these people you met at the beginning of the year and who you were so excited about getting to know, aren’t connecting with you in the way Continue reading “A Letter to My 18 Year Old Self”

The Top Ten Books That Have Influenced Me

So, this challenge has been going around facebook and it’s really annoying me that I haven’t been nominated yet. I’ve been an avid reader since I learned how to read and quite frankly, I’m a little insulted that no one’s nominated me. So, I’m taking it upon myself to nominate myself and just do it. Right here, right now. Because I want to, and because why not?

This was super difficult and I’m not quite sure if I can possibly rank them from 1-10, as that’s just mean. To the books.They all have influenced me in some way and those ways are all important. So, this is just a list, and a list has to start somewhere, right? Without further ado, here I go!

Continue reading “The Top Ten Books That Have Influenced Me”