Preparing for the Unknown

This is not much of a substantial post.

This is just me reaffirming what I already know–September is here and that means Thailand is happening soon.

I have three weeks to get my shit together and prepare for this wild and crazy adventure of mine.

I am so excited to explore this [what I’ve heard is] beautiful country. I am so excited to ACTUALLY USE MY ENGLISH DEGREE [something I thought I’d never actually do in an actual job] while exploring the field of education in a classroom setting. I’m excited to learn and grow and further become that person I’m striving to be. I’m excited to get outside my comfort zone…but I’m also scared. And oh boy, am I not prepared. But as much as I buy and as much as I pack…I don’t think I’ll ever truly be prepared. This is just something I gotta do. Dive into head first without looking back.

Scare yourself. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable. You just might will thank yourself later.

[My mantra for this whole whole excursion]

IMG_20150406_194409592
A representation of my feels–who knows what my Thailand adventure will bring. I can only see so far ahead on my own path, and that’s okay.

Vulnerability

I’m feeling vulnerable right now.

For a lot of reasons, really. I don’t think I can properly explain it all entirely.

I’m feeling vulnerable and I’m going to tell you about it because I hate pretending I’m okay when I’m not and I think, in general, humans are too apt to cover up less-than-cheerful feelings. I think, in general, humans are too afraid to really feel.

Well, I’m feeling a lot right now and I’m not sure I can articulate all of those feels because their
pretty damn complex, but I’m going to make an effort because I’m a writer and this is how I do.


I’m feeling vulnerable because I spent the last hour of work today wiping counters that didn’t need to be wiped and washing dishes that didn’t need to be washed. I didn’t get a single order Continue reading “Vulnerability”

Choosing Growth

When you have demons, I’ve learned it’s best to just confront them. Confrontation is the often first step in moving forward.

Helping yourself. That’s where true confidence comes from. Helping yourself starts from within. Often times, that first step comes in the form of confronting your demons.

Not that that’s an easy task. Such a task can be damn hard. But in my short twenty-two years of experience with this thing called life, it has always seemed to Continue reading “Choosing Growth”

The End (Or, the Beginning of the Rest of My Life)

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. — A.A. Milne

Have you ever asked yourself why you love something?

One of my friends asked me this the other day and I didn’t really know how to answer.

“Er…it’s really complicated, how do I even begin to explain?”

But really?

As I prepare to graduate today, I can’t help but ask myself all the reasons I love Morris. It’s a common string of words for me to say these days. I’ve said it plenty of times here on the blog. “I love this place so much. I’m going to miss it.”

But why? Why do I love this place so much? What is that it I’m going to miss?

Sure, it’s a beautiful place. As a prospective student, I fell in love with this campus Continue reading “The End (Or, the Beginning of the Rest of My Life)”

This is a Sappy, Emotional Post about College Friendships

Last night, drunk, emotional Britta cried for what felt like ages–it was probably an hour or so–while her friends sat with her drunkingly giving her pep talks about life.

They were tears of joy, happiness, sadness, anger. I don’t remember the last time I cried that hard for that long. I certainly don’t think I’ve ever experienced so many different emotions while crying.

And my friends were with me the whole time, basically telling me how awesome I Continue reading “This is a Sappy, Emotional Post about College Friendships”

The Winds of Change

Last year, I was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder.

I did not, in fact, have general anxiety like I was anticipating…I just handle change really poorly. Or rather, my body does.

My body can feel that change is in the air. It knows that and it is making my life all the more difficult because of it. It’s not just my emotions, it’s everything.

It’s the fact that my stomach has been a mess for about a week…that I think I’m Continue reading “The Winds of Change”

In Which I Talk About Some Extremely Private Parts of Myself that I Guess are Pretty Public Now

Reblogging this one from a few months ago. I reread it today and realized it probably is the post I’m most proud of to date…and I’d like to get it out to a wider audience now that I sort of kind of have one.

It's a Britta Bottle!

Dear Reader,

It’s about to get personal…

View original post 2,438 more words

Lessons on Self-Worth from a Dingy Dive Bar

“What are you afraid of?”

The bar was crowded, the music was too loud–overpowering really. Something that was a constant every Thursday night. Regardless of how many people were there, the terrible loudness of the music never changed from week to week.

He leaned in closer, his lips, which moments ago had been on hers, were now a breath away from her ear.

Again.

“What are you afraid of?”

It was playful. Unassuming. She had no reason to fear this question or the man Continue reading “Lessons on Self-Worth from a Dingy Dive Bar”

A Friendship Like No Other

At the beginning, Gabby and Caitlin seemed like an unconventional pair if there ever was one.

They were the fiery Democrat who’s been Ready for Hillary since the day she was born and the lone Conservative in the Democratic section of the Congressional Baseball game. I’ll always remember the day Gabby got up at 3 am do go to Hillary Clinton’s book signing at a nearby Sam’s Club…how she bought a membership (I kid you not) just to get that book signed by her political hero. I’ll never forget Caitlin’s yelps of disappointment among a throng of cheers, as the Democrats scored yet another run.

Gabby didn’t stop talking from the moment we met and Caitlin was Continue reading “A Friendship Like No Other”