#Weekend Coffee Share–Keeping Busy, Looking to the Future

If we were having coffee, I’d start off with asking how YOU are, since it’s been so long since I’ve joined the coffee share. I’d pry a little bit into your life and we might exchange a hug, if you’re the type of person who likes to exchange hugs.

If we were having coffee, I’d talk about how good it feels to be home, how I miss Thailand dearly, but how I know I made the right choice in coming back to the States earlier than anticipated. I’ve spent the last few weeks spending time with family and friends and catching up on some much needed sleep, which was very much lacking in my life during the month that I was traveling in Europe and Thailand.

If we were having coffee, I’d talking about how I’ve spent much of this week checking job postings and writing cover letters and updating my resume. It’s been nice to have this time back at home with my family. It’s been nice to relax and not having to worry about much in terms of responsibility…but I’d also talk about how ready I am to move on with my life. Continue reading “#Weekend Coffee Share–Keeping Busy, Looking to the Future”

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My Search for Personal Independence

One of the things I have always prided myself on is my independence.

I have never felt the need to go along with the most recent trends (as teenage Britta proclaimed more than once with much disdain, “Ugg boots are so appropriately named…because they’re soo ugly”) or to go along with societal ideals that make little sense or seem soul-sucking (there seriously has to be a more productive and effective method of working than the 9-5 job construct). I am a firm believer that we have built a society around ourselves that is much too complex, and the idea of having to participate in it is, really, somewhat maddening.

I listen to my heart and do what feels right, regardless of what other people think.

I mean, this is how I ended up in Thailand in the first place. That independent spirit, that desire for adventure and, quite frankly, the desire to avoid our ever-complicated society for as long as possible.

Seemed simple, right?

In fact, for me, it was almost too simple.

When I tell people about my Thailand experience, I often hear, “Oh, you are so brave. I could never do that.” Meaning, they could never move to a different country with a completely different language and culture.

Well let me tell you, it was hard. Living there was hard. The country and the culture were so exhausting to me and, as much as I wanted to become more comfortable there, to call Thailand a long-term home (because, oh, I did want that), it eventually became quite apparent that that wasn’t going to happen.

So, yes, actually living there didn’t work out for me. But–getting on a plane and actually moving there? Geez, that was almost too easy. Too easy that I barely even thought about it. And you know why? Because once I got there, I didn’t have to Continue reading “My Search for Personal Independence”

New Year, New Outlook

With a new year comes new goals and a new outlook.

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately about how I’ve been living my life up until now and the changes I can make to ensure I live a fuller and more enriching life.

With this reflection, I’ve realized two things:

  1. I expect way too much in life. Those expectation keep me from living in the moment and being thankful for what I have.
  2. I am very confident in myself, but I don’t trust that confidence in situations that are outside my comfort zone.

I’m realizing more than ever in this new country where I am far away from my family and Continue reading “New Year, New Outlook”

Dear Doc…Or, a Birth Control Story

I was put on “the pill,” as they call it, in October of 2009.

Early one fall morning–the morning that my third attempt to earn my driver’s license was scheduled, in fact–a nasty, gut wrenching ovarian cyst erupted within me. Oh man, was it painful. I don’t think I’ve ever been in as much pain in my life. I remember writhing around on the couch, clutching the right side of my abdomen, wondering what the hell was wrong with me.

Well, needless to say, my license would end up taking one more month to obtain because that nasty, gut wrenching ovarian cyst, which I was worried might be appendicitis at the time, landed me in the Emergency Room.

Fast forward a week or two to my first ever trip to a gynecologist. A lady doctor. At 16, I felt so adult to be visiting such a doctor. At 16, I listened as my brand new gynecologist explained to me the benefits that birth control could have on my body–not just that it would help prevent further ovarian cysts erupting, but that it could help with acne, it would make my periods lighter, and of course, the obvious–it would keep me from pregnancy.

At 16, I was three years away from my first sexual experience and I sure as hell had no plans for sex in the immediate future…but lighter, regulated periods sure sounded nice and I couldn’t deny the fact that another ovarian cyst eruption was not at the top of my “to have happen again” list. So, I went and filled Continue reading “Dear Doc…Or, a Birth Control Story”