The Winds of Change

Last year, I was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder.

I did not, in fact, have general anxiety like I was anticipating…I just handle change really poorly. Or rather, my body does.

My body can feel that change is in the air. It knows that and it is making my life all the more difficult because of it. It’s not just my emotions, it’s everything.

It’s the fact that my stomach has been a mess for about a week…that I think I’m Continue reading “The Winds of Change”

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The Best Friendships

Sometimes you meet a person and you immediately know you’re going to be friends for life.

Other times, it takes a bit longer to figure that out.

Regardless, the best friendships are those that bring out the best in you.

The best friends are those that love and respect you for who you are. Always. Regardless of your mess ups, your mistakes. They know you will become a better person because of them, that you will learn and grow from them.

They push you when they know you need it and pull you back only if they truly question whether a decision is in your best interest.

They’ll always be honest, even if the truth hurts…and they sometimes know Continue reading “The Best Friendships”

WRITING IS MESSY, OKAY?

So, this thing called the writing process is a bitch sometimes.

The final draft of my senior seminar paper is due tomorrow. Naturally, I am scrambling to finish it in time. What else? I mean, you all know how much of a procrastinating senior I am by now.

Well, really, I’m also incredibly overwhelmed by this mess of a paper. I was determined to be productive yesterday but I got maybe 100 words written and just couldn’t do it anymore. This draft is so messy and I didn’t even know
where to begin.

I was on the verge of panicking…

…until I remembered a little trick courtesy of my wonderful comp studies Continue reading “WRITING IS MESSY, OKAY?”

An Emotional Rollercoaster in a Nutshell

I am quite certain that emotions have a mind of their own.

Two days ago, I was ecstatic. Over the moon. My future is starting to shape up a little bit, and it’s really exciting. To be announced soon. Maybe.

But it’s also incredibly scary. Leaving this place I’ve called home for four years. There is so much familiarity on this campus. I have so many supporters here. I feel so safe here.

Today I feel anxious. I walked out of the social science building today after finishing my last Modern Britain class period of the semester with the realization Continue reading “An Emotional Rollercoaster in a Nutshell”

A Thought About the Road Ahead

I’m the type of person that always needs to have a cause. If I don’t, I get bored, anxious, and get to feeling a little worthless.

This cause doesn’t have to be anything huge (say saving the world). In fact, I get more personal satisfaction out of small things that make a difference.

I hope to find a lifelong cause in a future career. Lately, I have been intent on finding that cause well, yesterday. Problem is, I have no idea what I want to do after I graduate. This has been making me rather on edge because I so desperately need to feel like I’m doing something worthwhile or my anxiety spikes; I’m terribly frightened that I’ll go home after I graduate and sit on my bum for the rest of my life. Of course, knowing me, I wont let that happen. It’s still a fear that I have (irrational fears are all too real in Britta Land).

Today, I realized that maybe my current cause should simply be figuring out who I am.

I don’t need to have my future figured out. I can’t figure out my future until I allow Continue reading “A Thought About the Road Ahead”