This is a Post Where I Make Important Realizations About Myself. That is All.

Today is a day of clarity.

Let me tell you why.

These last few weeks have been…strange. Strange in a way that I haven’t really been able to put into words. I was very aware of feeling off, but I didn’t really know how to describe it to anyone–let alone, myself–so I didn’t. I wasn’t ignoring the feeling, per se. I was more confused than anything. Being in a new town, in a new job, in a completely different country–it is all so much, and processing everything has been really hard. Unable to describe my own feelings but yearning to write, I turned to fiction to soothe my nerves…yet, I was still on edge…because although nothing was seriously wrong, I still didn’t know how to describe all these feelings going on inside of me.

But…I think I can now. After a much needed weekend to myself (seriously, I’ve done next to nothing, and it’s been amazing), I feel like I have the space to distance myself from these emotions and really consider them.

Let me explain:

Being in Chiang Mai during my October TESOL course was easily one of the highest emotional periods of my life. The amount of joy and happiness I experienced during October 2015–for such a consecutive period of time–was simply unheard of for me before that. It’s not that I was unhappy before my TESOL course. It’s not that life was terrible before TESOL. In fact, it was the exact opposite. My last year of college was an amazing period of personal growth. My last semester of college, specifically, was easily my best semester of college. A period of my life that I will always cherish. This past summer, working as an espresso bar barista at a gas station, of all places, was also an incredible experience for me. I pushed myself in new ways by working in the food service industry, and I can safely say that some of my coworkers fundamentally shaped me into the person I am today (and that is looking back to three months ago). I loved my job as a barista and will always cherish the, albeit temporary, home I Continue reading “This is a Post Where I Make Important Realizations About Myself. That is All.”

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#WeekendCoffeeShare — The Barista Scoop Edition

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that, as an espresso bar barista, I’ve been scooping up more ice cream than making any sort of coffee drink…by far. From there, I’d probably spend a few short minutes complaining about how unbelievably sore my right arm is from completing that task about seventy-five times within an hour (five scoops per twenty ounce milkshake and I surely made fifteen, if not more).

If we were having coffee, I’d have to explain to you how the espresso bar I work in is actually located inside a gas station. It’s a pretty nice gas station, as gas stations go, and, along with the espresso bar, there’s also a full deli where customers can get hot food. It’s a hot spot for lunch and yesterday, Friday, was hopping. There’s a special the deli offers that includes a twenty ounce milkshake or a smoothie with the meal so, naturally, right after customers get their food to go, they come our way. There were three of us behind the counter at one point all vying for the two blenders (something we desperately need at least two more of) to make either another smoothie or milkshake order. Mostly milkshakes yesterday. I’d tell you that, to make matters worse, my utter dependency on the recipe binder (It was my third day, I definitely DON’T have all the recipes memorized yet) slowed us down a bit. Well, at least I can say I can now make chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and oreo milkshakes without the binder after yesterday…but those are basically the easiest recipes anyhow. I’d probably then say something along the lines of, “Welp, we all have to start somewhere.” After that, I’d finally remember to point out–since I got side tracked with the milkshakes–that there’s also a Continue reading “#WeekendCoffeeShare — The Barista Scoop Edition”