A Letter to My 18 Year Old Self

Late last night, I was looking through my computer and found some old Word documents that hadn’t been looked at in ages. In particular,  I took a look at a makeshift journal I had created during my freshman year of college, since I had left my paper journal at home and was looking for a way to vent about my feelings in the pre-blogging stage of my life. I was astounded to read some of the things I had written in this journal…I sounded so lonely and dejected. Looking back, I am well aware of the fact that I wasn’t at my happiest during this time, however reading the things my 18 and 19 year old self had to say was a bit of punch to the gut…I couldn’t believe this is the life I was living. I’ve grown so much in the past four years, and for that I am incredibly thankful. I hardly recognize the girl I was when I started at Morris and that is most definitely a good thing. However, I think it’s worth looking back to see how far I’ve come. After all, that is in the true spirit of the purpose I had in creating this blog.

After reading a particularly raw entry from January 2012 where I simply stated how lonely I was, I decided to give my 18 year old self a pep talk. The below letter is the result:

Dear 18 year old Britta,

You’re going through a bit of a rough time here. You were so excited to go to college and now you’re there. You’re halfway through your freshman year, which is crazy (but believe me, you’ll think it’s even crazier when senior year rolls around). You finally have a boyfriend (isn’t that what you’ve been dreaming of your whole life?) and you’ve met a lot of fun people at Morris. Despite all that, you’re hurting. You feel that you shouldn’t be, given your circumstances, but you are and you know it. You know you’re an introvert and you know that you have trouble connecting with people because of that, but it just sucks that these people you met at the beginning of the year and who you were so excited about getting to know, aren’t connecting with you in the way Continue reading “A Letter to My 18 Year Old Self”

When Did Thin Shaming Become an Okay Thing?

Just to clarify, this was originally published on my first blog, “Letting the World Fall Into Place” on February 7, 2014, under the title “Let’s Talk About Body Image.” It’s a post I’ve always been extremely proud of…probably my strongest post from “Letting the World Fall Into Place,” and I kind of just want to get it out there again for a new audience;  I wouldn’t be publishing this again if it wasn’t something I felt strongly about. I changed the title to something I felt better represents my original goals with the post (because really, when did thin shaming become a thing? There are so many things wrong with it!) and I’ve made a few slight changes to the post itself; otherwise, it very closely resembles the original post from February. So, without further ado…

Today, this image showed up on my facebook newsfeed:

Now let me just say, I think the tone of the words in the above image is very harsh. While I do agree with the statement, I don’t like the way it is said. So, my goal here is to say what I took away from this image in an honest and respectful manner.

When I saw this image, I immediately started thinking about all the times people have commented on how skinny I am and how much I despise and am hurt by those comments. I’m by no means tall – I’m 5 foot 4 inches – and I weigh a little over 100 pounds;  I’ve always been small, always, regardless of how much I eat or work out. Yet, people still comment on my weight, as if there’s nothing wrong with that. Society has deemed it taboo Continue reading “When Did Thin Shaming Become an Okay Thing?”