The Art of Messy Living Situations

I have a confession to make:

I am wholly uncomfortable in my current living situation. Luckily, my lease is up at the end of April. That still leaves me with a good three months to bask in discomfort, though.

— — — —

A few months ago, I briefly mentioned in a post that I wasn’t friends with my roommate, that we didn’t have a whole lot in common.

This wasn’t untruthful. My roommate and I aren’t friends. In the nine months that we’ve shared a space, I’ve found we have little in common. Yet, I didn’t divulge the whole truth…

At the time, I had a lot of pent-up anger towards my roommate. Until very recently, I had a lot of pent-up anger towards my roommate. I had pent up anger, because shortly after I moved in, she began exhibiting some behaviors that made me uncomfortable–they fed into my personal space and left me feeling emotionally drained. I felt further anger because, at the time, I didn’t have the tools to create a healthy boundary from those behaviors…in effect, I was angry at myself for not knowing how to fix my reaction. I also felt anger, because I felt bad about feeling anger. I felt bad for feeling anger at the flawed person I saw inside of her, and I felt bad because I didn’t react more maturely to things she did (and didn’t do) that upset me. Instead of feeling my feelings to move on, I shamed myself into believing the problem was me. And guess what…feelings fester when you don’t let them out. So that anger magnified.

The problem, of course, isn’t me. The problem isn’t her (though there’s a part of me that, admittedly, would still like to blame her). The problem is just that–the problem: two flawed individuals (aren’t we all?) who found themselves living together, who had trouble clicking, who find it difficult to communicate with each other for a variety of reasons, and who, in the nature of flawed humans, don’t always make the most mature and graceful decisions in dealing with each other.

I didn’t tell the whole truth in that post, because that wasn’t the point of the post. I also didn’t want to risk unnecessary name calling and wholly biased assumptions about a Continue reading “The Art of Messy Living Situations”

Advertisements

An Ode to the Community

…some of you are like a best friend or very close sibling–always cheering me on and giving advice when needed.

…some of you are like a mother or grandmother–offering sage wisdom and sometimes (only sometimes) gently scolding me for not seeing the bigger, better picture when I’m down on myself or uncertain about the world.

…all of you together are like a large, slightly dysfunctional, but always supportive extended family.

And so are my thoughts about the WordPress Community.

— — — —

I have been reflecting lately on how much I know you all…really know you. Even though we’ve never met in person (besides you three from college and you know who you are), through your own writings and our frequent exchanges, I see your unique personalities, your passions, the things that make you shine so bright as well as, sometimes, your struggles. Blogging can be and very much is an extraordinarily personal endeavor. I know some Continue reading “An Ode to the Community”

The Beauty of Blogging

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how blogging has changed my life.

That’s kind of a big declaration to make about something, I know.

But I’m serious. Blogging has changed my life for the better.

I have grown up a lot in this last year. I’ve matured and have become so much more comfortable in my own skin. Lately, I’ve been having little to no anxiety–of course, it still exists, it still sneaks up on me when I least expect it–but it is so much less severe than it was last year at this time and it Continue reading “The Beauty of Blogging”

Kickin’ it Old School

Who here remembers when electronic typewriters were the next big thing?

Anyone? Anyone?

(For the record, I sure don’t. I was born in the early 90’s and, thanks to my software test engineer poppa, grew up in a household full of computers) Continue reading “Kickin’ it Old School”