CHANGES. They Happen Sometimes.

Do you ever get the feeling that something is just off? That something is off and you can’t necessarily put a finger on why. That something is off and you know that, even if it’s not necessarily convenient or easy, you have to make a change?

Today I should be heading to my first day of school at Teacher Britta at a secondary school in Nong Khai.

But…I’m not.

Instead, I’m catching a flight to another part of Thailand to settle into a new placement, to a new life.

— — — —

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Nong Khai. It’s a bustling town. There’s actually quite a lot to do here. It’s in a cool location, right on the border of Laos. There is absolutely no reason to not like Nong Khai.

It’s not you Nong Khai, I promise. It’s me.

From the moment I got here, I had a fleeting sense that something wasn’t right. I pushed it aside, though. This is my placement, after all. I shouldn’t question it. Right?

Still. I found myself avoiding it. I had already had a two day trip to Laos planned when I got here Continue reading “CHANGES. They Happen Sometimes.”

What am I Doing With My Life? (Or, Getting Through this Awkward Transition Period)

I’m struggling for something to write right now and part of me is thinking “well, nothing interesting has happened lately.”

I mean, I’m an unemployed college graduate living at home.

For the time being.

I’ve been searching for jobs and preparing for Thailand, but life is rather uninspiring right now. Cool things are going to happen in the future, yes, but they seem so far off.

Of course, things have been happening. I have been applying for jobs and Thailand preparations are in progress. I spent all of Saturday with an old friend from high school whom I haven’t seen since December.  That friend happens to have four absolutely precious two week old kittens at her place, so, naturally, I spent the first Continue reading “What am I Doing With My Life? (Or, Getting Through this Awkward Transition Period)”

An Emotional Rollercoaster in a Nutshell

I am quite certain that emotions have a mind of their own.

Two days ago, I was ecstatic. Over the moon. My future is starting to shape up a little bit, and it’s really exciting. To be announced soon. Maybe.

But it’s also incredibly scary. Leaving this place I’ve called home for four years. There is so much familiarity on this campus. I have so many supporters here. I feel so safe here.

Today I feel anxious. I walked out of the social science building today after finishing my last Modern Britain class period of the semester with the realization Continue reading “An Emotional Rollercoaster in a Nutshell”

The Beauty of Blogging

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how blogging has changed my life.

That’s kind of a big declaration to make about something, I know.

But I’m serious. Blogging has changed my life for the better.

I have grown up a lot in this last year. I’ve matured and have become so much more comfortable in my own skin. Lately, I’ve been having little to no anxiety–of course, it still exists, it still sneaks up on me when I least expect it–but it is so much less severe than it was last year at this time and it Continue reading “The Beauty of Blogging”

Restless and Ready

I am restless.

I am ready to move out into the world.

If I wasn’t so hell bent on getting a double major, I could be doing just that right now (I only have one more requirement to graduate folks–my English senior seminar–and since I’ve already completed my history degree, I could have Continue reading “Restless and Ready”

Location and Geography: Where I Call Home and Where I Want to Be

I think I have become a geographically stuck up.

Wait, what? What does that even mean, Britta?

Okay, okay, let me explain:

A few weeks ago in my Minnesota History class, my professor was talking about how prevalent a dichotomy between provincialism and cosmopolitanism has become in Minnesota in the last half century or so. While, in many ways, Minnesota as a whole has been struggling to maintain its provincial roots, we have also been trying our darnedest to avoid becoming what we wholeheartedly fear other people perceive our state as already: fly over land

Fly over land. a.k.a. a space between two interesting and cosmopolitan regions, the space people fly over to get from cosmopolitan region 1 to cosmopolitan region 2. In our case, these two regions are the East Coast and the West Coast. In our Continue reading “Location and Geography: Where I Call Home and Where I Want to Be”

Black Smoke Clarity

I’ve already told Hagen that I love her poetry (because I do).

This one in particular, though. I feel like it sums up my feelings about life in a nut shell. As I start to think about post-graduation life and where I’ll end up after college, I think this is a particularly poignant reminder that as scary as change can be, it can also be beautiful and wonderful and, often times, for the best.

Changes

So eloquently said.

I’ve been thinking about change a lot lately and I probably couldn’t have said it better if I tried.

MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO

Change is the law of life. The only way to make sense out of it is embrace, move and dance with it. And since we cannot change reality, let’s change the way of looking at it. A wise man said: “Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes.”

I say:

Based on my personal point of view, people evolve. (And with that come changes) we grow/develop/advance with each passing year whether we like it or not and most of the times we are not aware of those changes since it happen very gradually. With age comes maturity. Our wants and needs evolve with us. Our preferences and priorities changes as well to better suit our current situation and frame of mind. With that we create a more convenient environment to accommodate our present way of life. Feelings do alter as well. Time does heal every…

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