I’ve thought many times over about creating a new blog and letting this one go.
In 2.5 years that I’ve written at this site, I’ve grown a lot. If you ever go back into this blog’s archives, you’ll find that my voice has been consistently changing. My writing has improved significantly since I started this blog, and my voice has grown with me.
If you ever go back into my blog’s archives, you’ll also find some pretty embarrassing stuff (I won’t willingly provide those links for you, but you can find them if you do enough sifting). As I look back at them, some of the things that were taking up my thoughts during my senior year of college were quite immature. Even in the last year (damn, the last month) I’ve matured (and am continuing to mature) in a lot of ways, and the voice I utilize in my writing reflects that.
It would be easy to delete everything, to belittle my past thoughts and mindsets as not worthy of seeing the light of day ever again. Indeed, there are a couple posts I have done that with–in one way or another, I found them inappropriate to have on my blog. That’s a rare occurrence, though, and I prefer to not make that the norm.
When it all comes down to it, my blog is my story. Since my senior year of college, I’ve documented so much that is important to me here. While I haven’t been blogging a whole lot lately because I’ve been so internally focused the past few months, this blog is still part of my life and it’s still where so much of early twenties have been documented. I don’t want to give that up.
We spend so much time erasing the parts of ourselves that we don’t like–trying to change ourselves to fit a mold, what is perceived to be socially acceptable. In doing so, we deny who we truly are, and what a great disservice that is to ourselves.
This blog is me. My 21 year old declarations of love. My 22 year old desire for adventure. My 23 year old confused-as-all-hell self–who’s starting to make sense of it all.
In a month, I’ll be 24 and who knows what I’ll bring to this blog then.
It’ll still be here.
I could delete it…but I won’t.
It's a Britta Bottle! 
I havent read your old stuff, to be honest I just read this last post. I am a bit older than you, and I can tell you that I do remember almost everything of what I was and what I felt at different ages and stages… I think what you are now is the result of what you have been, and the amazing thing is that everyday we are building what we will be next. “Change” is what we basically are. Keep up your good work 🙂
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Thank you! I agree–I’ve been doing a lot of reflecton lately, and its amazing the memories that have come to me that I didn’t even realize were still there. Life is change.
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This is wonderful! I can definitely relate to that feeling of starting over only because you feel you’ve changed and matured so in the moment it feels right to just start over. What you thought a couple of years ago may not be what you think now. But it’s fun to see bloggers change over time so I agree, please don’t delete this site 🙂
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Thanks Jess! Even if I do decide to create a new blog sometime in the future, I wouldn’t delete this site. I feel I’ve spent far too much time and energy into building this blog into something to delete it totally. I agree–it is fun to see how bloggers change over time–and I think our twenties is a fantastic time to be blogging, because we’re learning and changing and experiencing so much during this decade.
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I definitely feel the same way. I’ve jumped from blog to blog over the years, but have never deleted any of my old sites. Sometimes, the spirit/theme behind a blog no longer fits and I’ve moved on. It’s a bit embarrassing to know that the posts my fifteen-year-old self wrote are still out there, but I’m not deleting them. Of course, am I not giving the web address to my first blog out to anyone either. 🙂
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For the time being, this blog is fine. Maybe one day I will day decide to move on from it, but I certainly wouldn’t delete the website completely if I did that.
Maybe some confused fifteen year old has stumbled upon your first blog and completely resonated with it and feels a little more udnderstood because of it. You never know. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Wag 'n Bietjie.
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Thanks for the reblog! 🙂
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