If we were having coffee, I’d say hello and we’d probably exchange some pleasantries. Then, I’d dive right into how exhausting my grandfather’s funeral was on Monday. Let me start off by saying that I’ve come to realize that I prefer to grieve in private. So, naturally, I have come to realize that I despise the public grieving ground that a funeral is. Everyone patting each other on the back and offering condolences. I know people mean well but man, I just want some space. My grandfather had an open casket and at twenty-three, I have never been to an open casket funeral before. I have never in my life seen a dead body and I mean, I’m a grown up. I know a dead body is pretty harmless. It won’t bite. Still, I couldn’t handle it. I tried my best to ignore the part of the room where his casket was on display for viewing because I knew I would lose my shit…but then I decided it would be right to just take one look. So, I found myself about ten feet away from the casket–close enough to see his body from afar–and, as anticipated, lost my shit. Thankfully, my aunt and mom came to the rescue and promptly dragged me away, telling me that I should feel no obligation to look at his body when I wasn’t comfortable with it, that grandpa wouldn’t want it that way.
Needless to say, when my time comes–hopefully many, many moons from now–I intend to be cremated and turned into a tree.
I found the rest of the day to be quite exhausting–I had a headache from crying and was overwhelmed by emotions and so many people, many of whom I hadn’t seen in ages or didn’t know at all. I was happy to be back home at the end of the day to take some much needed time for myself.
If we were having coffee, I’d be about ready to switch the subject from death and funerals. So, I’d move on to telling you about the lovely afternoon I had with my dear friend Kelsey on Thursday. Kelsey and I went to the same university and became good friends while working in res life together. She just graduated a couple weeks ago and is back in the Minneapolis area, where she is also from. Since she was finishing up school, we hadn’t yet seen each other since my return from Thailand; we met up at Lake Harriet in Minneapolis for a picnic lunch and then walked around the lake. It was so nice to chat and catch up and the weather was just perfect. It was such a lovely afternoon.
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve been reaching out to people that I know in the D.C. area and it looks like actually getting there is starting to become more of a reality. I’m continuing to search and apply for jobs but I also want to concentrate on actually getting there for the time being. I’m hoping to be there within a month or so, but we’ll see. I can’t begin to tell you how amazing it feels to finally be turning this long-held dream of mine into a reality. I have so enjoyed my time in Minnesota. I’ve been appreciating my home state and the Midwest in general so much more since being back and I’m grateful for the time I’ve had here–but D.C. is where I belong right now. I just know it. Stay tuned for more on that in the coming weeks.
If we were having coffee, I’d wrap up my side of the coffee share–and I’d ask if you have anything you’d like to share over coffee. If you’re reading this in the U.S., do you have any plans for Memorial Day weekend?
This post is part of the Weekend Coffee Share link up at Part Time Monster