If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that this week has been incredibly busy…and tiring…
If we were having coffee, I start out with the big news first–I bought a motorbike on Thursday afternoon! My school got a really good deal on a used bike for me; some of the teachers came with me to buy it to make sure everything was in working order and to act as communication with the Thai speaking seller. One of the teachers is teaching me to ride it and with enough practice, I’m hoping to be able to ride it to and from school soon enough! I’m a bit nervous to go out onto the road on it, but also very excited. I’ve been feeling very isolated and dependent on others in my town for transportation of late and it feels very liberating to finally have a motorbike of my own. I can’t wait to explore around my province a little bit more when I’m more acclimated to using the bike.
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve been spending more time with Thai friends this week, getting out of my shell and pushing myself to socialize, despite the language barrier and my own social anxiety. I find that my social anxiety gets worse when I know people don’t speak the same language as me–while this certainly an incentive to learn more Thai, I also need to remember that people are people, regardless of the language they speak. These excursions included Tuesday night, when two of the other western teachers and I went out to dinner with some of the Thai teachers at our school and Friday night, when I started tutoring two people around my age in English at a restaurant I frequent in town.
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that today (Sunday) was this big huge dance recital at school. Classes were cancelled on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday of last week to practice. All the teachers had to be there and it was so much fun to see the kids in their costumes and watch them perform. That said, it’s also been INCREDIBLY hot and humid here the last few days (more so than usual), so while I enjoyed the recital and the lunch that we had afterwards, I was incredibly grateful to go back to my apartment and cool off for a while in the AC. I currently sit here writing up this coffee share in an adorable little coffee and dessert place that just opened right across from my apartment–it has WiFi and coffee so let me tell you, I’m pretty certain this will become a frequent place for me to come and get some blogging and lesson planning done.
If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I am quite certain that I am going through one of the most critical and formative periods in my life right now. I have made some pretty profound realizations about myself in the last few weeks and I’m really striving to live a fuller and more enriching life–to push myself in new ways, to find confidence that I didn’t know I had, and to continue to learn and grow and become the person I’ve always wanted to be. Of course, all this learning and growing is easier said than done…in fact, I’m finding that it’s pretty darn exhausting. As one of my dear friends recently reminded me, I need to be kinder to myself. It’s okay if the weekend comes and I’m too tired to do anything but chill at home. It’s okay if I spend both my Friday and Saturday nights watching Friends or reading. I have A LOT of expectations for myself in the new year and I’m realizing that, while it’s perfectly okay to have these expectations for myself, it’s also important to accept that growth takes time. I can’t force myself to change all at once. The change I expect for myself is a process. It won’t always be easy and, in fact, it will probably be pretty hard sometimes. In the end it will be incredibly worth it, but I am nowhere near the end…and that’s okay. It’s okay to be exhausted. It’s okay to just need time.
If we were having coffee, I’d be about ready to switch it off to you–and I’d ask you, do you have anything to share over coffee?
This post is part of the Weekend Coffee Share link up at Part Time Monster