slut
[sluht]
1.
2.
What do you think of when you hear the word slut? Probably something akin to the dictionary definition above (courtesy of dictionary.com a.k.a my go to site for quickly defining the English language).
Slut isn’t a pretty word. Definition aside, it doesn’t even sound nice. It sounds dirty. Just like the the image it defines, an image that that has become so dirty because of our societal perceptions of woman and sex.
I actually just experienced this first hand the other day–this being, the centuries old societal perception of women that insists that we females cunningly tempt men into sex because we’re sinful, dirty, second-best, cut from Adam’s rib, etc., etc. The experience? When I called out a married coworker for flirting with me (something that has been going on on and off this whole summer, mind you). Upon making my point, he and another coworker exchanged amused glances; the other coworker simply rolled his eyes and said in a slightly exasperated tone, “He’s married!”
As if I didn’t already know that. And, more importantly, as if the fact that this guy was flirting with me was my fault (um, no apologies for being young and attractive).
Even though I wasn’t explicitly called a slut in this situation, everything that a slut is was ever so subtlety implied throughout its short course. That is not okay.
Humans are sexual beings. Sexuality is a natural part of life. What is shameful about that? Why should a woman have to even think twice about having sex with multiple people out of fear that she will be judged? Why is it that a man can go and flirt with whomever he wants (even while married) and have sex with whomever he wants and be celebrated–yet a woman goes and does the same thing and she is ostracized.
Let’s all take a step back and look at this situation from the outside–what about slut is okay?
This isn’t a new conversation. I’m not suggesting that I’m saying anything different or outrageous with my words…because I’m not. But…how long is it going to take before we all collectively take a step back and realize…slut is not a nice word. Not when used in serious conversation. Not when used as a joke. Not at all.
The bottom line?
Slut is outdated. It promotes shaming among woman–and it further allows for the superiority of men in our, unfortunately, still male-dominated society.
I wrote the beginning of this post in August after a instance where one of my male friends used the word slut as a joke. I was really bothered by the way my friend used it so casually and knew I had to write about it. Enter this post. I was half-way through writing it when I ultimately drafted it. Thoughts that ‘my blog is a creative outlet, not a controversial outlet,’ seeped through my mind, and this post was bound to never see the light of day.
However, recently, I had a conversation with a good friend about this word–and just happened to come across this post in my draft folder soon afterwards. The fact of the matter is, “slut” is not a nice word–and with our current societal context of the word and everything that it means, that will not change. Furthermore, my blog is whatever I want it to be. My blog is me. And today, finishing this post up and publishing it feels right.
It's a Britta Bottle! 
Hi Britta, yes your blog is yours so it can be whatever you like. I agree that slut is a vulgar word and is, in my opinion, synonymous with double standard. Now here it comes: as I’ve grown older, I realise that very little is black and white and there are many shades of grey (more than fifty I would suggest) so who am I to judge? Merry Christmas, Stephen 😉
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Thanks Stephen. It definitely is synonymous with a double standard.
Haha, I do agree that there are many shades of gray, too. Wayy more than fifty. 🙂 That said, I also think there are certain situations where we need to take responsibility for our actions as a whole society, and our treatment of women is one of those situations (easier said than done, I know, and perhaps I’m a tad bit too idealistic at my sprightly young age of 22). The use of the word slut is only one part of the problem that is our treatment of woman and we have a long way to go in addressing and fixing the problem. I feel like, in certain situations, including this one, talking about a gray area is only a cop out in further addressing that problem. How do we fix it? I don’t know. But it’s going to take a lot more than one person (i.e. me blogging about it) for us to get anywhere.
Merry Christmas to you, too! I’m currently living in Thailand and it certainly doesn’t feel like the Christmas I’m used to, since I hail from a much colder climate!
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It’s your blog, you can write what you want to…. I agree, the double standard is totally baffling, and I’m a guy so I come out on the good side of it. And no, I don’t think I have said “slut”, even joking, since long before you were born.
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Thanks Trent, for your input. You’re right–it is my blog. It’s hard to be an invested blogger without thinking about branding your blog–I know I could get more followers and views with a brand. I realized, though, that’s not why I started blogging. I blog for me and the fact that other people want to read what I have to say is amazing enough in itself. It doesn’t matter how many followers or views I get as long a I’m putting out content that I’m satisfied with and that makes me happy.
Glad to know you agree with me on this issue. While I love hearing support from females on this issue, it’s so nice to hear support from males. This isn’t just an issue of how females are portrayed in society, this is an issue of society a whole–and it’s something that everyone, both males and females, should be willing to talk about.
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I sometimes get too obsessed about my stats, but really, like you said, I have to put up posts that please me, not aimed at the masses. And if only a couple of those people are actually reading, wow, that’s amazing.
I think there are a lot of guys who hate the double standard we have. During the 90s it seemed to be getting a lot better, but then the whole country got so conservative post 9/11 on all issues, including sexism and feminism. I don’t know, it might have to do with the rise of Fox News, I’m not sure were it came from. People are talking about more lately, but unfortunately too many people from the wrong side!
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You are absolutely right Britta. There is a double standard and there are even worse atrocities being put upon the female gender than shame calling. And you know what? It is not just the men that do it. It saddens me to see the sisterhood turn on each other rather than own their sexuality. Great job on this one and glad you didn’t shy away from being controversial.
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Oh absolutely, shame calling is only the beginning. I think it’s worse when woman do it to each other. While it’s disgusting to hear men say such things, it’s just down right disappointing to hear woman, who should be supporting each other, bringing each other down.
Thanks so much and glad you enjoyed this post!
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Good thoughts, Britta. And good for you for calling out your co-worker on his *extremely rude* behavior. It is not acceptable for women to be degraded like that, especially by men. I can hope that, through more awareness of slut-shaming (and in general, of degrading women), people will learn to be better with their opinions. Thank you for sharing.
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It saddens me that this is still an issue today in the twenty-first century, but the fact of the matter is, it is. I hope people will learn, too. The fact of the matter is, fighting for women’s rights ISN’T a thing of the past. It is still a very real problem today, particularly in how we are perceived sexually in relationship to men, and the very best thing we can do is talk about it and spread awareness–and hopefully other people will catch on.
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