Do you ever get the feeling that something is just off? That something is off and you can’t necessarily put a finger on why. That something is off and you know that, even if it’s not necessarily convenient or easy, you have to make a change?
Today I should be heading to my first day of school at Teacher Britta at a secondary school in Nong Khai.
But…I’m not.
Instead, I’m catching a flight to another part of Thailand to settle into a new placement, to a new life.
— — — —
There is absolutely nothing wrong with Nong Khai. It’s a bustling town. There’s actually quite a lot to do here. It’s in a cool location, right on the border of Laos. There is absolutely no reason to not like Nong Khai.
It’s not you Nong Khai, I promise. It’s me.
From the moment I got here, I had a fleeting sense that something wasn’t right. I pushed it aside, though. This is my placement, after all. I shouldn’t question it. Right?
Still. I found myself avoiding it. I had already had a two day trip to Laos planned when I got here and found that, while there, the last place I wanted to return to was Nong Khai.
A few hours after reentering the country on the day I returned to Thailand, instead of setting back in Nong Khai, I found myself in a van being transported to the nearest airport. To visit friends in Bangkok. Bangkok, Bangkok, Bangkok. I had never been there before. It was exhilarating being in such a huge city. I celebrated Halloween with my friends there. We had a fabulous time. And most importantly, it wasn’t Nong Khai.
I had resolved to stick out the semester. I had barely given Nong Khai a chance, after all! I could end up falling in love with it. Still, Teacher Britta, who had been planning all through TESOL to stay in Thailand for a year, if not more, was almost certain she wouldn’t stay in this town for more than a semester.
Nothing about Nong Khai felt right to me…but I was going to stick it out anyways because I felt like I had to. And, more importantly, because there weren’t any other options.
………………..
Until a job opportunity came up while in Bangkok. A job opportunity at a school that sounded amazing, an area that sounded amazing. It felt right in all the ways Nong Khai didn’t.
So, I took it.
You may call me brash in my decision making if you want. All I can tell you is that I always listen to my gut. And my gut was telling me that this new position was right. It was telling me that, for whatever reason, a reason I can’t put into words, Nong Khai wasn’t the place for me. That I would never feel at home here. That I would be unhappy here.
Had this job opportunity not come up, I would have stayed in Nong Khai. I would have been fine. I would have made it through. But this job opportunity made me realize how important it for me to strive for my own personal happiness at all costs.
I am not my best self here.
I’m not sure why. But I’m not.
— — — —
I believe that places are powerful. I believe that whether we realize it or not, places affect us. That some places are meant to be our homes and some places are meant for us to merely pass through. I’d love to visit Nong Khai again at some time in the future. But I just can’t call this place home. Not now. Not ever.
And so, today, on the day I was supposed to begin my time as an English teacher in Thailand, I am instead continuing on my personal journey of self-betterment.
Teacher Britta can wait until tomorrow.
Today? Today is the beginning of the rest of my life.
And where am I heading to?
Well, that my friends, is the topic of another post.
(I gotta keep you guys reading somehow)
It's a Britta Bottle! 
Sending best wishes on your upcoming adventures!
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Thank you so much, Michelle!
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Life can sometimes take us on crazy adventures that we don’t expect. Looking forward to reading your adventures in Bangkok.
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My philosphy is the best things in life happen when you least expect them.
My new job isn’t in Bangkok. I found out about the position while visiting Bangkok, but it’s not in the city. Bangkok is definitely an amazing and exhilarating place, but I dont think I could live there long term.
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Couldn’t agree more! Oh, well, still exciting nonetheless! 🙂
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I hear ya. Listen to your gut. It can “save your life.”
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So far, this decision is one of the best I’ve ever made. I love my new town and my school is AMAZING.
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I’m glad Britta. 🙂
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Listen to your gut. I listened to my elbows once, and regret it to this day.
Seriously, I think as we navigate life we’re in spaces at times that open up more of the universe to us. It can be a holiday visit with friends or the result of a red light we decide not to run. Our trajectory constantly changes, even when we can’t detect it.
Can’t wait to read more on the adventure.
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Haha, I try my best to not listen to my elbow. Seems rather counterproductive. 🙂
It really does. You never know what life will throw at you. A week ago today, I was sitting in a hotel room in Vientiane, Laos sobbing because I was dead certain I wouldn’t be happy in Nong Khai, but I felt absolutely helpless because I had no other options at that point. Now, I’m sitting in my apartment in my new town after completing my second day of school and I love it–the school and the town–and I just know I made the right choice. I always say that the best things in life happen when you least expect them.
Can’t wait to share!
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that philosophy makes me want to never expect anything ever again – and see what happens.
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It’s easier said than done sometimes, but I find it can be so rewarding. 🙂
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What a breathtaking turn of events! I think you made the right decision, Britta. I’m currently in a job that I logically have under control, my whole physicality is resisting. It just FEELS wrong. The only thing keeping me going is knowing this is temporary and will be a great resume boost. Sometimes, you just gotta stick through things. But if something doesn’t feel right, find somewhere that does. I’m excited to hear about your adventures in Bangkok!!
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Breathtaking is certainly one word for it. I’m out of breath still! I’ve been traveling pretty much non stop the past couple weeks–from Nong Khai to Vientiane, Laos to Nong Khai to Bangkok to Nong Khai to Bangkok to my new town (I live about an hour away from Bangkok). I’m exhausted from all the moving around, plus the added stress from being in a place I wasn’t happy in and then moving. To top it off, I started school yesterday and I’m still not caught up on sleep!
Sometimes you do gotta stick through through, and I definitely would have stayed in Nong Khai if this opportunity wouldn’t have come out almost out of thin air. It was incredibly lucky.
Good luck with your new job, Amelia, and hopefully something will come along sooner than later that will fill you with more life. 🙂
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Trust your gut. It will work out just fine!
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It certainly will. Thank you!
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How did I miss this post? I’m sorry to have missed reading your news ! Hope all is ok with you and look forward to hearing your updates on your new destination ;))
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Lia! Dont be sorry!! I myself have been THE WORST at keeping up with blogs. We’re all busy and keeping up with blogging is hard sometimes. So glad you found this post, though. Thank you so much! I have so much to share if I ever will get around to sitting down and writing. 🙂
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Glad to know all is well! Thinking of you:))
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Wow, somehow I missed this post! I think you were right to trust your gut feeling. I hope the new opportunity works out. Good luck! (Now back to read your coffee post to see how the first week went)
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Thanks Trent. I think it will. And it’s so easy to miss posts, especially with the time difference between me and you.
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Well, it looks like trusting your instincts paid off! I hope you’re having the time of your life 🙂
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It sure did! I love my new school and town and I can tell this is going to be a wonderful experience!
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