What am I Doing With My Life? (Or, Getting Through this Awkward Transition Period)

I’m struggling for something to write right now and part of me is thinking “well, nothing interesting has happened lately.”

I mean, I’m an unemployed college graduate living at home.

For the time being.

I’ve been searching for jobs and preparing for Thailand, but life is rather uninspiring right now. Cool things are going to happen in the future, yes, but they seem so far off.

Of course, things have been happening. I have been applying for jobs and Thailand preparations are in progress. I spent all of Saturday with an old friend from high school whom I haven’t seen since December. Β That friend happens to have four absolutely precious two week old kittens at her place, so, naturally, I spent the first twenty minutes upon my arrival there obsessing over them. I wouldn’t consider myself a cat person–I guess I’m pretty neutral towards cats–but gosh darn are these kittens adorable.

IMG_20150517_020919133
two week old cuteness

This period of transition has certainly been a transition. It’s weird to be back at home because even though it’s the same, it’s also quite different. Since my brother left for college last fall, my parents have been absolutely loving being empty nesters–man, they have been embracing this life like no other–so I feel like I’m a bit of an intruder on the way of life they’ve grown accustomed to sans children (i.e. my brother and I). Plus, living at home isn’t exactly my ideal living situation. If I wasn’t going to Thailand, I’d certainly be looking for a place of my own…but it seems rather silly to do that at this point, when I’ll be leaving in four months anyways.

I’ve been reading lots, which is fab…finished two books last week, which is pretty dandy considering it took me three months to finish a leisure read last semester. It is, however, certainly strange going from constantly thinking about school–something I’ve grown accustomed to over the last seventeen years–to suddenly not having it be on my radar at all. I think it’ll be nice to get back into a classroom in September. Of course, it will be in completely different circumstances in a totally different country. It wont be the same as college at all…but I do love learning and I’m excited to try my hand at teaching.

I’m hoping to be employed soon…but until then, I need to find ways to keep myself busy! I can’t just sit around all day reading because even though I do love reading, sitting for long periods of time without actively being productive has a tendency to make me anxious. I know reading is productive in its own way, but there’s only so much of that sort of productivity that I can handle before I get a little stir crazy.

GOTTA KEEP OFF THAT ANXIETY!

I’ll be fine, this is just an adjustment that I’m certainly getting used to.

— — — —

Oh yeah, I also booked my flight to Thailand.

I guess that’s pretty exciting…

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22 Replies to “What am I Doing With My Life? (Or, Getting Through this Awkward Transition Period)”

  1. You found words to describe my life as of late. I’m looking for a job, too, but I haven’t had any luck thus far. Both my parents work all day so I’m always home alone, which it’s exciting the first week but can get pretty boring after that. I’ve been reading children’s books (Charlotte’s Web and The Afternoon of the Elves), but I’m plodding through them. I’m not exactly in the reading mood. I actually miss school. Silly as this sound, I miss worrying about meeting the deadline for an assignment and feeling excited about a fun assignment. Or doing homework every night. I’ve been thinking about taking summer classes, but my parents want to save up that money for next semester. (College ain’t cheap after all.)

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    1. Ah, good luck keeping busy this summer and hopefully finding a job. My parents work all day too, so I completely understand. My brother’s done with his semester now, but he’s leaving to study abroad for part of the summer, so if I don’t find a job soon, it’ll just me be alone in the house everrrydaay. Even as an introvert who values alone time, too much time by myself everyday gets to be too much.

      These first couple weeks of break after the end of the semester are generally an adjustment regardless of if you’re graduating or not. I remember coming back from college for the summer and just wishing I was still back there…missing campus and my friends, etc. It’s a little different as a new grad, yes, but adjusting to being back home isn’t any different.

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      1. Very well put. Even as introverts, too much time alone can drive us insane. I love spending time at home, but it’s getting to be too much now.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, it sure is a thing. After so many weeks of taking all of college in while simultaneously stressing about finishing school, I’m just kinda like, “now what?”
      Thanks, though. I’m hoping to figure something out soon.

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  2. I hate that awkward stage! I too am currently job hunting, oh what fun! What two books did you finish? I haven’t had as much time as I would like to read, for fun anyway. Yay on buying your Thailand plane ticket that is so exciting! Enjoy the time at home with your parents while you can. πŸ™‚

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    1. Yeah, it sucks! I’m feeling a bit more optimistic in general now than when I wrote this last night, though, thankfully. I have a lot more to do for Thailand, too, which should keep me busy, and I always have blogging. πŸ™‚ It will be nice to spend time with my parents and other family, that is also true.
      Oh, I finished “Barbie and Ruth” by Robin Gerber–it’s a biography of Ruth Handler, the woman who invented Barbie…she’s a really fascinating character–and “The Girl Who Fell from the Sky” by Heidi W. Durrow. It’s the story of a mixed-race girl trying to find her place in the world while learning to confront her tragic past. I’d recommend both.

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  3. Really hope you find something suitable soon – I’m sure you will… what’s for you won’t pass you by πŸ™‚ Such exciting news about Thailand – keep focused on all the positives, hopefully it’ll help shoo away those awful anxiety feelings! Karen πŸ™‚ XXXX

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      1. Awwh that’s encouraging to read!! It’s tough trying to stay positive when you’re just not in the form – I think I had a dose of that today lol It passes though πŸ™‚ Hope the rest of this week is a great one xxx

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  4. Hi Britta!
    I’m glad you booked your flight to Thailand and definitely that countdown to your travel is a good thing! It’s going to be an amazing experience that you’ll remember forever — I admire you for taking this step in life!
    About this current transition phase, I have to say that I completely can imagine that the build-up to graduation is now over and there is a “now-what” phase that sets in…even though college is stressful and you have lots of assignments and all, it does keep students focused and looking forward to something. And now, the lack of assignments / class schedules etc. is a bit daunting!
    I went through similar about 20 years ago…I don’t want to sound like those who say “When I was your age…” because we all have different experiences – but I do remember feeling similar to the way you are now…and it all passes in time…but at the moment, it must feel like an eternity.
    The cute kittens are so adorable…I don’t have any pets but I appreciate their cuteness and snuggle-effect.
    Take care dear Britta…sending you smiles from me to you.
    *Lia

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    1. Thank you so much, Lia, for your kind words of encouragement. If I put things into perspective, it really is amazing that I’m going to Thailand. I’m nervous and a little scared, but I also know it will be an amazing experience. Things will figure themselves out for this summer in time and then I have an amazing adventure on my hands.
      Oh, I think you put my feelings into words perfectly. I mean, even though we all have unique life stories, I think it is a common feeling for new college graduates to feel uprooted, at least temporarily. You are right–we spend so much time building up for graduation and then its over so quickly. Unless you happen to be hired right out of college, many of us face a wide open future and a “now what?” Thanks for sharing your post-graduation memories.
      Oh they were so cute. I don’t have any pets either, but I do love appreciating the cuteness of other peoples’ animals. These kitties were absolutely precious!
      I will try my bestest to take care. Thankfully, I’m feeling more optimistic than yesterday when I wrote this post. I think I just have to take it one day at a time at this point. πŸ™‚

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      1. I’m so glad you’re feeling more optimistic than when you wrote…Indeed, taking it one day at a time is the way to go…On a kind of side note, I remember that movie “What About Bob” with Bill Murray — His character said the line “Baby steps, baby steps”…it’s kind of a mantra that my family and I use…it’s a funny reference but we use it for serious times too…
        All my very best to you on this Tuesday and always,
        *Lia

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  5. Hi Britta,
    I see that you already feel a bit better today than when you wrote the post.
    Lia said what I would have liked to share with you, so I won’t repeat myself.
    I’ll just kindly remind you to not forget the yoga when you feel a bit anxious.
    Think of this: when we are studying we wish we had free time, and vice versa. We humans are silly. It gets even worse when we have busy jobs that leave us with no time, and we start wishing to find things like work life balance.
    Anyways, it’s your life, your path, your story…so no matter how we older ones did, you’ll go through your experiences in unique ways.
    For what’s worth just try to relax and don’t take life too serious, all the time.
    PS: I wish I could have read two books last week.
    Cheers!
    Lucile

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    1. Oh, absolutely. I’ve been doing yoga daily. Ever since I started doing it in February or so, my whole existence feels a bit off if I miss a day. I will do it at midnight if it’s the only time I have. πŸ™‚ I’ve also been running and trying my best to stay active.
      Thank you for your kind words, Lucile. It is true…in school, I would have loved to have this much time to read and do as I please and now that I have it, I just want to be busy! Of course, I should really be trying to enjoy this time off while I have it.
      Cheers to you, too!

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