Last year, I was diagnosed with an adjustment disorder.
I did not, in fact, have general anxiety like I was anticipating…I just handle change really poorly. Or rather, my body does.
My body can feel that change is in the air. It knows that and it is making my life all the more difficult because of it. It’s not just my emotions, it’s everything.
It’s the fact that my stomach has been a mess for about a week…that I think I’m still hungry, that I want seconds, until I look at the food on my plate and feel ill.
It’s the fact that I just tried to take a nap and couldn’t sleep at all, even though I’m exhausted (it was a 5 am night last night, finishing my paper, and I didn’t sleep well when I finally did get to bed either).
It’s that pit of anxiety that is growing in my stomach that I’m always so aware of.
— — —
This week is going to be hard. Because I want to make the most of it, yet my body wants to have other plans for me.
Luckily, I’ve grown so much in the last year, I’ve learned so much about myself and how to take care of myself. I need to be doing yoga daily, I need to be writing constantly, I need be productive, keep myself busy. I need to be spending time with friends, enjoying every moment I have with them. I have one more paper due this week and a few other important tasks that need to be completed.
So yes, I know how to take care of myself.
And I will.
It’s just going to be extra hard this week.
And I think I just need to accept that.