I am quite certain that emotions have a mind of their own.
Two days ago, I was ecstatic. Over the moon. My future is starting to shape up a little bit, and it’s really exciting. To be announced soon. Maybe.
But it’s also incredibly scary. Leaving this place I’ve called home for four years. There is so much familiarity on this campus. I have so many supporters here. I feel so safe here.
Today I feel anxious. I walked out of the social science building today after finishing my last Modern Britain class period of the semester with the realization that I’ll never have another class in there again.
Like, holy hell, this whole leaving thing is suddenly hitting me hard. With graduation comes moving on and I’m scared.
I’m scared to leave the friends I love so much, the friends I wish I would have found at least two years earlier here, the friends who’ve changed my life for the better.
I’m scared because I love this place so much and when will I be back here again?
I’m scared because it will be different when I do come back…as an alum rather than a student.
I’m scared and maybe it’s irrational because I know how strong I am.
I know how strong I am.
I’m so excited for the future and I know my future is bright.
These damn emotions, though.
They just keep getting in the way.