An Emotional Rollercoaster in a Nutshell

I am quite certain that emotions have a mind of their own.

Two days ago, I was ecstatic. Over the moon. My future is starting to shape up a little bit, and it’s really exciting. To be announced soon. Maybe.

But it’s also incredibly scary. Leaving this place I’ve called home for four years. There is so much familiarity on this campus. I have so many supporters here. I feel soΒ safeΒ here.

Today I feel anxious. I walked out of the social science building today after finishing my last Modern Britain class period of the semester with the realization thatΒ I’ll never have another class in there again.

Bittersweet much?

Like, holy hell, this whole leaving thing is suddenly hitting me hard. With graduation comes moving on and I’m scared.

I’m scared to leave the friends I love so much, the friends I wish I would have found at least two years earlier here, the friends who’ve changed my life for the better.

I’m scared because I love this place so much and when will I be back here again?

I’m scared because it will be different when I do come back…as an alum rather than a student.

I’m scared and maybe it’s irrational because I know how strong I am.

I know how strong I am.

I’m so excited for the future and I know my future is bright.

These damn emotions, though.

They just keep getting in the way.

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31 Replies to “An Emotional Rollercoaster in a Nutshell”

  1. haha yeah totally feeling everything you wrote here….except I don’t know if I’ll ever return to Minnesota, which is kind of scary! But I’m glad things are working out for you. I hope you do share news of this exciting future! Now I want to know ^_^ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sure I’ll announce my plans one of these days. I’m so excited (and terrified) and it will be a grand adventure. πŸ™‚ Enjoy these last few days at UMM and hey, at least we’re done with our senior sem presentations!

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      1. Life itself is a grand adventure! πŸ™‚ And yes ma’am, I plan to make the most of these last few days here! πŸ™‚
        Amen to senior sem being done.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Indeed, it is a roller-coaster! I don’t graduate for another month, but I wish you the best in your future endeavors. πŸ™‚

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  3. I remember feeling the same way when I was graduating. No matter how much I hated certain classes, it was still bittersweet leaving knowing I won’t step foot in that classroom again. Good luck!

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  4. Hey Britta, you are definitely not alone in your feelings here. The great thing is, you know how strong you are! And just think of the awesome adventures you’re about to have and the new friends you’re about to make! Go for it!!

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    1. Thanks so much for the encouragement, DesleyJane! It means a lot to me. I do for sure have some awesome adventures coming up. It will be a change from what I know in college, which is scary…but I’m pretty sure they will also be amazing. πŸ™‚

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  5. Ahh the lovely roller coaster feelings of change. Been there, experienced that. You find out how strong you are when you’re dealing with that, and you’re pretty damn strong if you ask me! πŸ™‚

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  6. You managed to capture my feelings. I was actually feeling a little sad two days ago, because it was my last day of classes. I made some good friends and some are graduating. It’s so bittersweet to know I might not see them again. They’re going to start their lives or continue on to graduate school and move on to greater things. And this semester just flew by. Like, Holy Hell! Weren’t we just enduring the harsh January cold? Where did time go?

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    1. It’s crazy how time flies. I’m glad you could relate, even though you aren’t graduating. πŸ™‚ As exciting as it is to move on, it is sad to see a part of life end, and that’s no exception for a school year, even if you aren’t graduating yet. πŸ™‚

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      1. I was graduating this time last year. Trust me, I know how hard it is. But I bet part of you is glad it’s over. You survived high school and college and hopefully graduate school. A new chapter begins and hopefully it’s better than the last one. This means you’re a step closer to writing a book! Which I expect you to write soon. Within the next five years? Maybe two? As I said, I expect it soon.

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      2. Oh, yes. High school graduation was so different from this, though…at least for me. I was so excited to graduate and go to college and my future for the next few years was figured out. This is different, now. My future isn’t so set in stone and I’m finding that incredibly exciting and scary.
        Somehow I think the next chapter will be better. It may not always easy, but I refuse to believe that my college years are the best years of my life.
        And, goodness. Now I feel pressured! and quite flattered. πŸ™‚ I would love to write a book one day. I can’t make any promises that it will be in the next two to five years, but you never know. I’ll let you know. πŸ™‚

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      3. Thank you! That’s what I keep telling everyone! I don’t think our college years are our “best years.” Far from it. You can still have fun in your thirties, forties, etc. Fun isn’t limited to college. And high school was horrible. I did manage to make friends my last year and then graduation came. Of course, I don’t keep in touch with those people anymore.

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  7. The great thing about leaving an academic institution is the glorious feeling of accomplishment, with a degree, no less! I have often felt that way with my classes of college students–that I may never see them agsin, or this is my last day with a class I thoroughly enjoyed teaching. Sure it is scary for you, but the journey was worth all the combative feelings, and the next step you take begins the new journey. Embrace it Britta, you shall be wildly successful!

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    1. Thank you so much, Terri. I’ve been struggling with the anxiety of leaving college moving on to my next big adventure these last few days, and it’s so reassuring to hear your words of kindness and support. I’m so excited to get my degree, though. It’s been such an adventure here in college, but I know it’s time to move on.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. You’ll see this clearly later, but these emotions? They’re a huge part of the experience. Otherwise, college is just buildings and classes. You know it’s much more. Your time and experience and emotions there become part of the fabric you’re made of.

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    1. Absolutely. Thanks for you encouragement, Eli. These emotions are just all part of the experience. My last few days of college wouldn’t be the same without them, so I just best accept them and appreciate that I have something like this to get so emotional about. πŸ™‚

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