Here I will relate a conversation I had with an acquaintance a person I barely know at a bar last night:
Person I Barely Know: “Wasn’t expecting to see you here tonight, Rebecca.”
Me: “My name’s not Rebecca.”
P.I.B.K.: “Becca?”
Me: “No…”
P.I.B.K.: Clearly struggling to remember my name, clearly has no idea
At this point an actual acquaintance, who is standing nearby, interrupts the conversation
Acquaintance: “Her name is Britta.”
P.I.B.K.: “Ohhh, oh yea. Britta. Like the water filter, right? Anyways, I wasn’t expecting on seeing you here tonight, Britta.”
Me: “Why not?”
P.I.B.K.: “You just don’t seem like much of a partier.”
Me: “Oh, really? Well, I wouldn’t consider myself a partier, but I still like to go out sometimes with my friends.”
P.I.B.K.: “So you’re not a total stick in the mud?”
Me: “No, I wouldn’t consider myself a stick in the mud at all.
End conversation, P.I.B.K. ends up walking away.
As you might imagine, I was absolutely livid with this occurrence. If I wasn’t my naturally non-confrontational, INFJ self, I would have let P.I.B.K. and the entire bar know just as much.
This kid’s assumption that I am a “stick in the mud” is rooted in the well-known fact that I am very much an introvert. Yes, I’d prefer to stay in and hang out with a few close friends instead of going out every night. Yes, I’m not wild about crazy parties. Yes, I’m fairly uncomfortable with small talk and prefer to not be in a situation where I have to rely on that exclusively for an extensive amount of time. All these are quite true, yes. However, my introversion does not mean, under any circumstances, that I am a stick in the mud. I like to go out, just not every night. I personally believe there is more room to learn and grow, more opportunities that can be realized, when spending time by oneself or with a small group of friends.
I am at a place in my life where I’m proud of who I am. Sometimes I wish I could be better at small talk, yes–it is, in fact, a skill I’d like to get better at since it is such an important skill in modern society–but I’m happy to be an introvert. I love the life I am choosing to live.
I didn’t always use to feel this way though. I went through a period in my life where I tried to deny my introversion, where I wanted to be like what seemed like to me, everyone else on the planet. Everyone else who didn’t need to spend copious amounts of time by themselves, who didn’t struggle to simply carry on a conversation with others.
And you know what? It was people like P.I.B.K. who convinced me that I needed to change myself. That introversion was a synonym for boring. That I had no chance of being successful and satisfied with my life as the quiet girl that I was, that I still am at heart.
Well, I’m done with people like that. Why don’t you try getting to know someone before so quickly passing judgments on them, ay?
So yes, introverts are people, too…we just need to take some time to recharge by ourselves on a regular basis. Oh, and as for being a stick in the mud? Hardly! Our lives are so full…our minds are always keeping us busy.
It's a Britta Bottle! 
Proud of you, becca. You’ve really grown up since we first met, and now you’re the captain.
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Aww, thanks Paulie.
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I hate people who assume things. Pisses me off so much. I’m proud of you for sticking up for who you are.
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Me too! I wasn’t sure if he was a little intoxicated or not (I really don’t know him well enough to know what he’s like sober), but that shouldn’t be an excuse anyways. I mean, he couldn’t even remember my name…clearly he doesn’t know me well enough to be jumping to conclusions about me!
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It’s good you know who you are inside and out! You aren’t comprising yourself to please others… Bravissima…
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I sure am not! Thank you, Lia! 🙂
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What an a**hole!!!! Good for you for standing up to that person! I am a proud introvert too. Doesn’t mean we hate people, doesn’t mean we are shy either. We are just more comfortable being by ourselves!
There’s lots of great articles about “us”. Check this one out. Also, click on that TED link, THAT is a powerful speech!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/07/physical-behavior-of-introverts_n_6069438.html
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Absolutely! Sometimes, I really do like to spend time with people…that said, usually in very particular settings…and recharging is so important!
Thanks for sharing this article. I love reading these things. “Quiet” by Susan Cain was absolutely influential in changing the way I view myself as an introvert…and I enjoy reading other material that stick up for us, too. 🙂
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I love this! Completely relatable.
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Thanks so much and thanks for the comment. 🙂
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If I’d been you, I wouldn’t even have bothered to address this guy. I would’ve simply turned and walked away. He’s ignorant and not even worth your time. Extroverts are oftentimes unaware of the rich inner-world of introverts. They’re unaware that we observe their behavior and learn more about them than they will ever learn about us. We create fairy-tale worlds that make it into books. We see the world in a different way. And we suffer in silence, but that’s good, because we don’t have to talk about everything all the time. And talking about everything won’t solve our problems. And parties? Ha, we don’t go to parties because we know there are other ways to have fun. Better ways. We want an academically
enriching experience, and parties don’t provide that. Also, most writers that I know are far from being sticks in the mud. They’re adventurous and do crazy shit, because that’s how we acquire experience and ideas for stories. This guy is a total ass. You were really mature about you handled him.
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Yes, we introverts certainly have a lot going for us…many of the inventions we rely upon today would’t have been created without the minds of some of the greatest introverts in history. He was ignorant and I knew that…but I was still incredibly frustrated and got that out by writing this blog post. 🙂
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Bill Gates is an introvert. So was Steve Jobs and a great many people. You should’ve called him out on it.
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I agree with all the things you said! It feels like this article is about me haha
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Glad you to can relate. I’m always so happy to hear when others can relate to my writing. 🙂
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