Doubt

Sometimes I wonder if this thing I call intuition is nothing more than another self-constructed scheme to keep me from letting go.

I don’t like to think of myself as clingy.

I like to think that I am independent, that I’m perfectly capable of making my own decisions, my own rules.

I generally try to stay positive–there is already enough negativity in this world and I like to think I do my best to counteract that.

I’ve been playing off my intuition for the past six months…well, more than six months, really…because that’s what feels right.

But what if it only feels right because I want it to feel right?

— — —

I guess only time will tell…


 

IMG_20150325_192505847_HDR~2~2
There’s a certain stark quality to this image that conveys the emotions I was feeling as I was writing this.

 

 

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9 thoughts on “Doubt

  1. Intuition is a very funny thing. Like you, I struggle with the letting go part, and funny enough, it has been a conversation with my roommate and I for the past day or so. I’m still trying to figure out why I struggle with it. But as for the intuition thing, I have had situations come up where I had to learn to trust my intuition 100% and it turned out to be right always. So don’t question the intuition, if it feels right in your gut, then more often then not, it is. 🙂

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    1. With this certain situation, I’ve really struggled with distinguishing my intuition from clingyness. I’ve been clingy before and this really doesn’t feel like that, but still in my times of doubt, I really question it. Generally speaking, I completely trust my intuition in this situation. There are moments when I doubt myself, like when I wrote this last night, but I pretty much completely trust it. Still, I have a lot of unanswered questions and after over half a year, I’ve started to wonder how pertinent my intuition is anymore, anyways.
      It’s tricky and I’m stuck, but I’m also viewing this as a really great learning experience, which is a plus, I guess. 🙂

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  2. Here is my magic trick (for what it’s worth): when I am stuck in between options, I literally sleep on ot. I ask my question before falling asleep and I usually get a clear picture in the morning. Maybe easier for my “intuition” to express itself at night, there is less traffic in my brain 😉 X

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