My Non-Expert Opinion on Valentines Day and Relationships and Love and Stuff

I forgot it was Valentines Day.

It didn’t even cross my mind.

That is, until I saw someone today in passing who wished me a Happy Valentines Day. I was taken a bit off guard because well, as I stated above, it was not on my radar at all.

Well, I guess I don’t have any significant other to spend it with so I didn’t have to frantically worry about making plans or anything.

Also, I’m perfectly happy being single; so, I found no appeal in the single awareness day shin dig. I’m sure as hell not going to mourn my singleness! I want this time of my life to be a period of discovery for myself, to better understand myself, to truly love myself. Yes, I am in love with someone else. That said, I don’t want to be with them…at least not right now. It’s not the right time. Yes, I do want to spend my life with them. I really do. I surely don’t know if that will ever happen…it might never happen. I do want it to happen and very much hope it will someday….but not today. Right now is for me. For learning to understand and wholly love me.

Really, I don’t even know if I like the concept of Valentines Day. It’s so commercialized. So cheap. I see it as an excuse to buy fancy things and spend money on your significant other. I don’t want that, though, from a relationship. Fancy things. Things at all. I want and hope for a relationship where we can truly appreciate each other for who we are. I guess I see a truly loving relationship as almost a spirital sort of thing. Where the connection two people have transcends the earthly, the material. It is on a different level, something only they can understand together.

Valentines Day just seems like an excuse to me, an excuse to buy stuff and spend money on someone.

I don’t think relationships should involve excuses at all. They should be more than all of that. I want to find ways to appreciate my partner every day. I don’t want or need a special day to make time for that that. I personally find more meaning in unexpected acts of kindness, rather than an act of kindness out of obligation (as in–oh, it’s Valentines Day, of course I have to get something for you). I think this is why I don’t get that excited about blogging awards. I mean, I do appreciate the pay it forward aspect of awards…they are a really great way to recognize all the talented bloggers in the blogosphere; however, I was personally much more touched in an instance when a fellow blogger mentioned It’s a Britta Bottle! on their blog just because they could and they wanted to…not out of a need to pass an award on.

Of course, when it comes to appreciating your significant other every day, I know that’s easier said than done. I know relationships are hard. I know disagreements happen…I know that as beautiful as love is, it is also incredibly painful and even anger-inducing at times. I was in a relationship that was incredibly hard in the end. After the honeymoon phase was over, we realized that we were putting so much effort into it and getting nothing out of it…that, however, occurred only after a period of pain and unhappiness for both of us. So we ended it. And it was the best thing we could have done.

A real, committed relationship, though, is about facing those troubles together and coming out of them together, stronger and more committed. It’s about accepting the good and the bad as they come and growing together through both.

I don’t have personal experience with a successful relationship. I do, however, know that such relationships are more than a commercialized holiday, a commercialized holiday that makes money purely off of this need people have to show they love each other through things.

I don’t want a specific day to tell me to appreciate the people I love in my life. I want to do that everyday. It’s easier said than done, of course, but I think with a little extra effort, it’s very possible.