I realized something important today:
I’m scared for the future.
I don’t know where I’ll be in a year and that’s scary.Today I was questioning if I even want to go to D.C. after college. I’m worried about surviving there. I’ve never had to pay bills or rent before and the jobs I’ve been looking at are entry level jobs that don’t pay well.
I realized the other day how comfortable I am in Morris. For all the griping I’ve done about wanting to leave this place, it has become home. It is safety to me.
I truly believe that the only think to fear is fear itself.
I know I’m feeling particularly anxious right now about my future.
I know I’m strong and am capable of doing so much.
But I’m still scared right now…
…Because even though I’ll be ready to leave come May and even though I want my life to be full of as much adventure as possible, I also still have anxiety. And it is perfectly acceptable to be afraid.
But I shouldn’t let that fear dictate me.
Because I want to live. Truly live.
Even though my anxiety is telling me otherwise right now.
Just because I am experiencing doubt about my dreams for the future doesn’t mean I am any less strong.
And this is where I’m at.
From February 1, 2015