My 12:00 class was cancelled.
My 2:00 class starts in approximately 40 minutes.
And all the sudden I actually have the urge to blog for the first time in like, a week.
Better make it quick. Don’t wanna be late for class!
I was just thinking today about how much I’ve changed for the better in the last year.
This time last year I was an anxious mess. I was worried about my future. In fact, it was this incessant worrying about the future that got me going in that spiral deep into the depths of the anxious darkness I was cloaked in for the majority of spring semester 2014.
I had applied to a few internships at the Smithsonian, but I was convinced I wouldn’t get them. Why would the Smithsonian want me, a student at a small, unheard of liberal arts college who only had museum experience at a small, unheard of county museum?
(well, obviously, name and size don’t matter, because they did and I went)
I worried about what I would do during the summer if I didn’t get my dream internship. I worried about what I would do after graduation…even though I had two full semesters of school still ahead of me at the point. All that worry led to deeper, darker worries about the state of humanity, questions of existence. I was scared, I felt helpless.
Fast forward one year.
I’m excited for the future. I know it’s a blank slate, but that’s okay. I’d rather have a blank slate to be filled with now-unknown adventures and learning experiences than my whole life planned out ahead of me. I still worry about the state of humanity and question existence, but I’m learning to ponder such topics without anxiety…because I think such questions are important and should be addressed.
I know that life will still throw challenges at me. I know I will still have my fair share of struggles. But I also know that I wont be alone in those struggles, even if it might feel like it…every human on this earth experiences darkness to some extent in life.
I’m still optimistic. I feel good about the future. I’m enjoying my last semester here at college, but I’m excited for what’s to come. Because life is such an adventure and I never want to forget that.
That’s quite the 180 from my thoughts this time last year, ay?
Alas, now I must get ready for class.