I’m the type of person that always needs to have a cause. If I don’t, I get bored, anxious, and get to feeling a little worthless.
This cause doesn’t have to be anything huge (say saving the world). In fact, I get more personal satisfaction out of small things that make a difference.
I hope to find a lifelong cause in a future career. Lately, I have been intent on finding that cause well, yesterday. Problem is, I have no idea what I want to do after I graduate. This has been making me rather on edge because I so desperately need to feel like I’m doing something worthwhile or my anxiety spikes; I’m terribly frightened that I’ll go home after I graduate and sit on my bum for the rest of my life. Of course, knowing me, I wont let that happen. It’s still a fear that I have (irrational fears are all too real in Britta Land).
Today, I realized that maybe my current cause should simply be figuring out who I am.
I don’t need to have my future figured out. I can’t figure out my future until I allow myself more time to fully understand the person I am becoming. This kind of stuff takes time and I have a whole life ahead of me to figure it out.
It’s an interesting thought. It’s something that I’m going to try and sit with for a while. Worrying wont get me anywhere, after all.
I’ll probably still worry. That’s what I do. Regardless, this thought is undeniably comforting, even if just a little bit.
On that note, after hearing this the other day for the first time in ages, I have officially decided that “Unwritten” is going to be the theme song of my life right now because the rest is still unwritten and I don’t want that to be a cause for anxiety…I want it to instead inspire wonder and excitement! Kind of cheesy, but if it does the trick, that’s what matters most!