So, maybe I can make this blog thing work if I just tell small stories on a regular basis rather than writing extensive posts every two months? We’ll see. Anywho, today I had an experience, which I will happily define under “Vegetarian Problems.”
For those of you who don’t know, I have been a vegetarian for around three and a half years (for the record, please don’t ask me why I am a vegetarian…this is one of my greatest pet peeves. You don’t go around asking meat eaters why they eat meat, so please don’t go asking people with special diets why they don’t eat meat, dairy, gluten, etc). Well, okay, actually I’m a pescetarian (meaning I DO eat fish just because I love it too much to give it up) but I usually just say vegetarian because pescetarian isn’t as common of a word (PROOF: right now, “pescetarian” is underlined in red as I write this, meaning that WordPress thinks I have a spelling error. They suggest I change my word choice to “proletarian”…lawlz).
So anywho, back to my story. Today, I was going to get some lunch at one of the eateries on campus. They had a delicious sounding portobello burger on the menu, which I thought meant a burger that had a portobello mushroom in place of the hamburger patty on the bun. Makes sense, doesn’t it? Welp, I was wrong. When I received my burger, I could clearly see that it was made out of meat. Yes, the portobellos existed, but only in the form of three or four measly ones on top of the hamburger patty. I really shouldn’t have expected anything more from dining services (okay, it actually was a pretty good looking burger; it also had lettuce, tomatoes, and cheese, plus a pickle on the side. It just you know, had meat on it, which I don’t eat). Well, I painstakingly took the hamburger patty off the bun and proceeded to eat the burger free of the patty because I was hungry and I’m not a picky vegetarian…I’ll still eat things that meat touched if necessary. So, I ate this sad excuse for a burger, sans meat and then I was staring at this piece of hamburger patty all by itself on the plate. It looked so pathetic. Then I got curious…I haven’t eaten meat since April or May of 2011 and I decided, well, it’s right in front of me, why don’t I try it just this once? It’s not like I’m going to make this a reoccurring thing, after all.
And this is when I was reminded of why I love being a vegetarian. The flavor of the patty was okay. I guess. The texture though. NO. EW. I felt sick. I guess it has been a while since I last ate meat willingly (there were a few mistakes near the beginning of my vegetarian days) and I’m no longer used to the texture of meat. It was just so disgusting. I was never a huge lover of meat in the first place, but this experience just left me cringing. I’m afraid I may have alarmed some people as I walked back to my room, since I had such a look of disgust on my face. I’ll stick to my Boca burgers thank you very much. In the process of this unfortunate experience, I started to think about how strange ground beef is. Granted, in this age of processed foods, there are edible things out there that are far more strange, but seriously…who thought it was a good idea to grind up beef in the first place? It’s just such a weird concept if you really think about it.
This, my friends, is my vegetarian problem of the day (not that they happen frequently. Vegetarian Problems are more of an occasional experience for me, and they tend to make really interesting stories in the aftermath).
**disclaimer**- We can still be friends if you are a proud carnivore. The majority of my friends do, in fact, eat meat, regardless of whether or not they’re proud of it. Just as long as you respect my diet choices, I’ll respect yours, and we’ll be fine!